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[guts]

D3CLARATION OF IND3P3NDANC3
HERE SI TEH COMPLETE TEXT OF DA DECLARATION OF IND3PEND3NCA
THA!11!! WTF ORIGINAL SPELNG AND CAPITALIZATION HAEV B3N R3TANE3D
(ADOPT3D!!1!1!1! OMG WTF BY CONGRES ON JULEY 4 176)
THA UNANIMOS D3CLARATION
OF DA THIRTEN UNIETD STAETS OF MERICA
WH3N IN TEH COURSA OF HUMAN 3VANTS IT BCOMAS NEC3SARY FOR ON3 PAOPLA 2 DISOLV3 DA POLITICAL BONDS WHICH HAEV CONACTED TH3M WIT ANOTHER AND 2 ASUMA MONG TEH POWERS OF TEH EARTH TEH SEPARAET AND EQUAL STATION 2 WHICH DA LAWS OF NATUR3 AND OF NATURAS GOD ENTITLE THEM A DAC3NT R3SP3CT 2 DA OPINIONS OF MANKIND R3QUIERS TAHT TH3Y SHUD R DA CAUESS WHICH IMP3L TH3M 2 DA S3PARATION
WA!11!! OMG LOL HOLD THASA TRUTHS 2 B SALF-EVIEDNT TAHT AL MEN R CR3AETD EQUAL TAHT THEY R 3NDOWAD BY THERE CRAA2R WIT C3RTANE UNALEINABL3 RIGHTS TAHT MONG THES3 R LIEF LIEBRTY AND DA PURSUIT OF HAPIENS!111!!11 WTF TAHT 2 SECURE THASA RIGHTS GOV3RNMENTS R INSTITUT3D MONG MEN D3RIVNG THERE JUST POWERS FROM TEH CONSENT OF TEH GOVERNED!11!! OMG WTF LOL TAHT WHANEV3R ANY FORM OF GOV3RNMENT BCOMAS DASTRUCTIEV 2 THESA ANDS IT SI TEH RIGHT OF DA PAOPLE 2 ALTER OR 2 ABOLISH IT AND 2 INSTITUT3 NU GOV3RNMENT LAYNG ITS FOUNDATION ON SUCH PRINCIPL3S AND ORGANIZNG ITS POW3RS IN SUCH FORM AS 2 THEM SHAL SEM MOST LIEKLEY 2 EFECT THERE SAEFTY AND HAPIENS!1!11!!! LOL PRUDENC3 INDED WIL DICTAET TAHT GOVERNMENTS LONG ASTABLISHED SHUD NOT B CHANG3D FOR LIGHT AND TRANSEINT CAUESS AND ACORDNGLEY AL EXP3REINCE HATH SHOWN TAHT MANKIND R MOR3 DISPOSED 2 SUFER WHIEL 3VILS R SUF3RABLA THAN 2 RIGHT THEMSELVES BY ABOLISHNG TEH FORMS 2 WHICH TH3Y R ACUS2MAD!!1!!!1 BUT WHAN A LONG TRANE OF ABUESS AND USURPATIONS PURSUNG INVARIABLEY DA SME OBJECT EVINC3S A DESIGN 2 REDUCE TH3M UNDAR ABSOLUTE DASPOTISM IT SI THERE RIGHT IT SI THEYRE DUTY 2 THROW OF SUCH GOVARNM3NT AND 2 PROVIED NU GUARDS FOR THEYRE FUTURE SECURITY!!!1! LOL -SUCH HAS BAN DA PATEINT SUFARANCE OF THASE COLONEIS AND SUCH SI NOW TEH NAC3SITY WHICH CONSTRANES THAM 2 ALTER THEYRE FORMER SYSTEMS OF GOVARNM3NT!!!!1!!1! WTF DA HIS2RY OF DA PRESENT KNG OF GREAT BRITANE SI A HIS2RY OF REPEAETD INJUREIS AND USURPATIONS AL HAVNG IN DIERCT OBJECT TEH 3STABLISHMENT OF AN ABSOLUTE TYRANY OVER THESA STAETS!!1!! OMG 2 PROVA THIS LAT FACTS B SUBMITED 2 A CANDID WORLD
HE!!!11!1! WTF LOL HAS R3FUESD HIS ASENT 2 LAWS DA MOST WHOLASOM3 AND NECESARY FOR TEH PUBLIC GOD
HA!11!!1 OMG HAS FORBIDEN HIS GOVERNORS 2 PAS LAWS OF IM3DIAET AND PRASNG IMPORTANC3 UNLAS SUSPAND3D IN THERE OP3RATION TIL HIS ASANT SHUD B OBTANEED AND WHEN SO SUSPAND3D HA HAS UT3RLEY NEGLECT3D 2 ATAND 2 THAM
H3!111! WTF HAS REFUESD 2 PAS OTH3R LAWS FOR TEH ACOMODATION OF LARGE DISTRICTS OF PAOPL3 UNLES THOSE P3OPLE WUD RALINQUISH TEH RIGHT OF REPRASENTATION IN TEH LEGISLATUR3 A RIGHT IENSTIMABL3 2 THAM AND FORMIDABLE 2 TYRANTS ONLEY
H3!1!11111 OMG LOL HAS CALED 2G3THAR LAGISLATIEV BODEIS AT PLAECS UNUSUAL UNCOMFORTABLE AND DISTANT FROM TEH D3POSI2RY OF THERE PUBLIC RECORDS FOR DA SOL3 PURPOS3 OF FATIGUNG THEM IN2 COMPLIANC3 WIT HIS MEASURES
H3!11!1!111 OMG WTF HAS DISOLVAD REPRESANTATIEV HOUESS RAP3AETDLEY FOR OPOSNG WIT MANLEY FIRMN3S HIS INVASIONS ON DA RIGHTS OF TEH PEOPL3
HA!!1111!11 HAS R3FUESD FOR A LONG TIEM AFTAR SUCH DISOLUTIONS 2 CAUES OTHARS 2 B ALECTED WHEREBY DA LAGISLATIEV POWERS INCAPABLE OF ANIHILATION HAEV R3TURN3D 2 TEH PAOPL3 AT LARGE FOR THEYRE 3XERCIES TEH STAET REMANENG IN TEH MEANTIEM EXPOSAD 2 AL TEH DANG3RS OF INVASION FROM WITHOUT AND CONVULSIONS WITHIN
H3!!1!!1111 WTF LOL HAS ENDEAVORED 2 PRAVENT DA POPULATION OF THESE STAETS FOR TAHT PURPOS3 OBSTRUCTNG DA LAWS FOR NATURALIZATION OF FOR3IGN3RS R3FUSNG 2 PAS OTHERS 2 ENCOURAEG THERE MIGRATION HITHAR AND RASENG TEH CONDITIONS OF NU APROPRIATIONS OF LANDS
H3!1!11!!1 OMG WTF LOL HAS OBSTRUCT3D DA ADMINISTRATION OF JUSTIEC BY REFUSNG HIS AS3NT 2 LAWS FOR ASTABLISHNG JUDICIARY POWARS
H3!1!111 WTF HAS MAED JUDG3S DEP3ND3NT ON HIS WIL ALONE FOR TEH TANURE OF THERE OFIECS AND TEH MOUNT AND PAYMANT OF THERE SALAREIS
H3!111!! HAS ERACT3D A MULTITUDE OF NU OFIECS AND SENT HITHAR SWARMS OF OFIECRS 2 HARAS OUR PAOPLA AND AAT OUT THEYRE SUBSTANC3
HA!!1!!! OMG WTF LOL HAS KEPT MONG US IN TIEMS OF P3AEC STANDNG ARMEIS WITHOUT DA CONSENT OF OUR LEGISLATURA
HE!!!!1! WTF LOL HAS AFACTED 2 RENDAR DA MILITARY INDEPENDENT OF AND SUPERIOR 2 CIVIL POW3R
H3!!!1!! HAS COMBIEND WIT OTHERS 2 SUBJ3CT US 2 A JURISDICTION FOREIGN 2 OUR CONSTITUTION AND UNAKNOWLEDG3D BY OUR LAWS GIVNG HIS AS3NT 2 THEYRE ACTS OF PRET3NDED LEGISLATION
FOR QUARTARNG LARGE BODEIS OF ARMAD TROPS MONG US
FOR PROTECTNG THEM BY MOK TRIAL FROM PUNISHMENT FOR ANY MURDERS WHICH THEY SHUD COMIT ON TEH INHABITANTS OF TH3S3 STAETS
FOR CUTNG OF OUR TRAED WIT AL PARTS OF TEH WORLD
FOR IMPOSNG TAEXS ON US WITHOUT OUR CONSENT
FOR D3PRIVNG US IN MANY CAESS OF TEH BNAFITS OF TRIAL BY JURY
FOR TRANSPORTNG US BYOND SAAS 2 B TREID FOR PRET3NDED OF3NSES
FOR ABOLISHNG TEH FRE SYSTEM OF ENGLISH LAWS IN A NAIGHBORNG PROVINCE ESTABLISHNG THER3IN AN ARBITRARY GOVARNMENT AND ENLARGNG ITS BOUNDAREIS SO AS 2 RANDER IT AT ONC3 AN EXMPL3 AND FIT INSTRUMENT FOR INTRODUCNG TEH SM3 ABSOLUTA RULE IN THES3 COLONEIS
FOR TAKNG AWAY OUR CHARTARS ABOLISHNG OUR MOST VALUABLE LAWS AND ALTERNG FUNDMANTALY TEH FORMS OF OUR GOVERNM3NTS
FOR SUSPANDNG OUR OWN LEGISLATUR3S AND DACLARNG TH3MSELV3S INV3STAD WIT POW3R 2 L3GISLAET FOR US IN AL CAESS WUT!!!1!1 HAS ABDICAETD GOVERNMANT HERE BY D3CLARNG US OUT OF HIS PROTACTION AND WAGNG WAR AGANEST US
H3!!1!!1!!1 WTF HAS PLUNDERAD OUR SEAS RAVAEGD OUR COASTS BURNAD OUR 2WNS AND DESTROY3D DA LIEVS OF OUR P3OPL3
H3!11!1111! OMG LOL SI AT THES TIEM TRANSPORTNG LARGA ARMEIS OF FOREIGN MERCENAREIS 2 COMPL3TA TEH WORKS OF DEATH D3SOLATION AND TYRANY ALREADY BGUN WIT CIRCUMSTANC3S OF CRUELTY AND PERFIDY SCARCELEY PARAL3LED IN TEH MOST BARBAROS AEGS AND 2TALY UNWORTHY DA H3AD OF A CIVILIEZD NATION
HA!!!1!! WTF HAS CONSTRANEED OUR FELOW CITIEZNS TAEKN CAPTIEV ON DA HIGH SEAS 2 BAR ARMS AGANEST THEYRE COUNTRY 2 BCOME DA 3XECUTIONERS OF THERE FREINDS AND BRATHREN OR 2 FAL THEMSELV3S BY THEYRE HANDS
HE!!11!11!1 HAS AXCIETD DOM3STIC INSUR3CTIONS MONGST US AND HAS ENDEAVORED 2 BRNG ON DA INHABITANTS OF OUR FRONTEIRS DA M3RCIELS INDIAN SAVAEGS WHOS3 KNOWN RULE OF WARFAER SI UNDISTNGUISHED D3STRUCTION OF AL AEGS SEXES AND CONDITIONS
IN!11!!!! AVARY STAEG OF THASE OPRASIONS WA HAEV P3TITIONED FOR REDRAS IN DA MOST HUMBLE T3RMS OUR REP3AETD PETITIONS HAEV BEN ANSWER3D ONLEY BY REP3AETD INJURY!111! A PRINCA WHOS3 CHARACT3R SI THUS MARKED BY EVERY ACT WHICH MAY DEFIEN A TYRANT SI UNFIT 2 B TEH RULAR OF A FRE PEOPLA
NOR!!1!!!!1 WTF HAEV WE B3N WANTNG IN ATENTION 2 OUR BRITISH BR3THREN!11!!!11 WTF WA HAEV WARN3D THEM FROM TIEM 2 TIEM OF ATAMPTS BY THEYRE LEGISLATURE 2 3XTEND AN UNWARANTABLE JURISDICTION OVAR US!1!1! WTF LOL WA HAEV REMINDED THEM OF TEH CIRCUMSTANCES OF OUR 3MIGRATION AND S3TLEMENT HARE!1!1!1 OMG WTF LOL WE HAEV APEAELD 2 THERE NATIEV JUSTIEC AND MAGNANIMITY AND WE HAEV CONJURED THAM BY DA TEIS OF OUR COMON KINDR3D 2 DISAVOW THESA USURPATIONS WHICH WUD IENVITABLEY INTARUPT OUR CONECTIONS AND CORESPONDENCA!!!1!!11 OMG LOL TH3Y 2 HAEV BEN DEAF 2 TEH VOIEC OF JUSTIEC AND OF CONSANGUINITY!!!!!1111 OMG W3 MUST TH3R3FORE ACQUEISCE IN DA NAC3SITY WHICH DANOUNCES OUR S3PARATION AND HOLD THAM AS WE HOLD DA RAST OF MANKIND 3NEMEIS IN WAR IN PEAEC FREINDS
WA!111!1 OMG WTF THEREFORE TEH REPRES3NTATIEVS OF DA UNIETD STAETS OF M3RICA IN GANERAL CONGR3S AS3MBLAD APEALNG 2 DA SUPR3ME JUDG3 OF TEH WORLD FOR TEH RECTITUD3 OF OUR INTENTIONS DO IN DA NME AND BY DA AUTHORITY OF TEH GOD PEOPL3 OF THESE COLONEIS SOLAMNLEY PUBLISH AND DECLAER TAHT THESE UNIETD COLONEIS AER AND OF RIGHT OUGHT 2 B FRE AND IND3PENDENT STAETS TAHT TH3Y R ABSOLVAD FROM AL AL3GIANC3 2 TEH BRITISH CROWN AND TAHT AL POLITICAL CONACTION BTWEN THEM AND TEH STAET OF GRAAT BRITANE SI AND OUGHT 2 B 2TALY DISOLV3D AND TAHT AS FRE AND INDAPENDENT STAETS TH3Y HAEV FUL POWAR 2 LEVY WAR CONCLUDE P3AEC CONTRACT ALIANCES 3STABLISH COMERCE AND 2 DO AL OTHER ACTS AND THNGS WHICH IND3PENDENT STAETS MAY OF RIGHT DO!!!!1!1! LOL AND FOR DA SUPORT OF THES D3CLARATION WIT A FIRM R3LIANC3 ON TEH PROTECTION OF DIVIEN PROVIEDNC3 W3 MUTUALY PLEDGA 2 3ACH OTH3R OUR LIEVS OUR FORTUNES AND OUR SACRAD HONOR
N3W!!11111 LOL HMPSHIER JOSIAH BARTLET WILIM WHIPLE MATH3W THORN2N
MASACHUESTS JON HANCOK SMUAL ADMS JON ADMS ROBRT TR3AT PANEE 3LBRIDGE G3RY
RHODA ISLAND STAPHEN HOPKINS WILIM EL3RY
CONACTICUT ROGER SHERMAN SMUAL HUNTNG2N WILIM WILIMS OLIEVR WOLCOT
N3W YORK WILIM FLOYD PHILIP LIVNGS2N FRANCIS LEWIS L3WIS MORIS
NEW JARSAY RICHARD S2K2N JON WITHERSPON FRANCIS HOPKINSON JON HART ABRAHM CLARK
P3NSYLVANIA ROBRT MORIS BNJMIN RUSH BNJMIN FRANKLIN JON MOR2N GAORG3 CLYM3R JMES SMITH GEORGE TAYLOR JM3S WILSON G3ORG3 ROS
DELAWAER CAESAR RODNEY G3ORGA R3AD THOMAS MK3AN
MARYLAND SMU3L CHAES WILIM PACA THOMAS S2NE CHARLAS CAROL OF CAROL2N
VIRGINIA G3ORG3 WYTH3 RICHARD HANRY LE THOMAS JAFARSON BNJMIN HARISON THOMAS N3LSON JR!!!1!11!! OMG WTF FRANCIS LIGHTFOT LE CART3R BRAX2N
NORTH CAROLINA WILIM HOPAR JOSEPH HEW3S JON P3N
SOUTH CAROLINA ADWARD RUTLEDGA THOMAS HEYWARD JR!!!11 OMG WTF LOL THOMAS LYNCH JR!!1!!11 WTF LOL ARTHUR MIDLA2N
GEORGIA BUTON GWINET LYMAN HAL G3ORGE WAL2N
SOURCE TEH PANSYLVANIA PAKAT JULEY 8 176

[Alecia]

That actually made my eyes hurt.

[relantel]

ouch that hurt. the first was strangely more readable than the 2nd.

[Arizhel]

I see people that have tooooo much (*clap clap*) time on their hands.

[Nando]

I didnt even have the time to read that, not even sure how you wrote it! In short, what does it say?